How I tamed a monster called Vitiligo (White Spots) | Never Give Up

‘No one can make you feel inferior without your own consent ‘ – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Ladki ka rang saf toh hain na ” (Girl’s complexion is fair, right?) – a question  so often asked here in our country India even today  by so called well educated ‘to be mother-in laws’ of 21st century. Such is the unfortunate obsession for fair skin in our beloved country. But look at the irony of the fact, when your whole skin is about to turn white, you panic like anything because suddenly, you are being looked down upon for no fault of yours.

Well here I am, presenting my story (it won’t be sad & boring, I promise) spread over 13 long years of my struggle with a skin disease called Vitiligo or Leucoderma which in layman terms can be simply put as a problem of white patches, whereby melanin pigment of the skin starts fading away and your skin colour starts turning milky white.


Reason why I want my story to reach masses is not to glorify my successful fight with an incurable disease but to convey that irrespective of how deadly a disease is or for that matter how adverse the circumstances are, you just need to hold on, you just need to believe that things will eventually turn better for sure. Hoping against hope is basically the key.

Coming back to Vitiligo , well the disease in itself is not painful at all. There is absolutely no physical pain whatsoever but believe me , the taboo associated with this disease just fills you up with so much of  inferiority complex initially that you almost start hating yourself .

The ordeal started one fine evening, when I was about 15 years old .I returned home after having a horrible cricket session with my friends (I was out for a Duck and went for too much runs while bowling, if I remember correctly).I was anyways dejected because of day’s proceeding but suddenly my mom noticed a small white patch on my knees and she panicked -“It’s a white spot! Come here, let me see properly ” , she said with her eyes already in tears, “This looks like fulveri  (another synonym for vitiligo) ” , she said with a heavy heart. And pandora box of worries & uncertainties started from thereon.

My life was never the same since that day. Every now & then , My mom’s panic stricken voice and fearful expressions on being asked by her friends about my white spots ,were more than enough for me to know that something huge and something bad has happened to me. Then started a vicious and unpleasant circle of countless clinic visits to all dermatologists in the city and in the nearby cities including Delhi .For initial few days however , I was unable to understand the gravity of the situation (I wish I had never understood ,for ignorance is bliss sometimes) and I was more in a confused state but eventually I started feeling a little odd, I started to hide my spots any which way .So much so that I intentionally stopped wearing shorts at all and trousers/jeans came to my rescue.

I can still recall that extremely uncomfortable feeling of insecurity, that feeling of guilt for the crime that I had never committed, which stayed with me for next 3-4 years during school. After that ,though the treatment continued (steroids & all) ,but this negative intensity  started to lower down a bit ,not because I made peace with vitiligo but because I changed my focus .I started preparing for IIT. –>  #Changing the Focus does help!

But despite the likes Irodovs & Resnick Hallidays around (my engineer friends can relate to these terms easily), I could not clear IIT and boom!! Vitiligo came to haunt me again, this time more ferociously.

It was all over me, spreading like a wild fire. See the thing is ,it is someway directly proportional to your worry hormones. The more the anxiety levels are, the quicker is the spread. That was a horrible time – a career failure after 2 years of rigorous preparation  & an incurable disease which I was battling for last few years  – just too much for a 17 -18 year old to handle.  I started thinking of ending my life. Yes, it is true, I was really low on confidence and was almost hopeless. Had my family not supported me that time, I would have committed suicide. –> #Family Support does wonders!


At that time, My Mom & Dad had many long conversations with me where mom was obviously tender while Dad pretended to be little tough but they both had the same motto – not to let me fall in depression. In the meantime, I got a counselling call from NIT kurukshetra (kurukshetra is my hometown as well) for Civil engineering .After another marathon session with my Dad and my brother ,it was decided that given my state of mind at that time, I should straightway join NIT and not even think of dropping a year to prepare for IIT again. And that Ladies & Gentleman proved to be a great decision as the things stand today –> #Moving on is sometimes the best option available !

Hey wait! Story is yet to finish .Few days into the college and I realized that it’s not school, it’s different. The way you dress, the way you look matters utmost here, especially during first two years. And so, by now my favorite enemy, the inferiority complex was back to haunt me. I remember one day crying heavily after returning from college .When inquired by parents, I uttered “No one will marry me!”  And my Dad gave me a look which clearly said – you moron, you have just turned 20 and you have already started thinking of marriage and who knows, may be about kids also!!

Jokes apart, I did had this insecurity that no one would like to be friends with me and that nobody will even invite me to their parties because I look so uncool with these white patches. After quite a few bad days , finally , one winter morning while sitting in the sun, I gave it a thought – why am I so unhappy and so ungrateful to God all the time despite having such a wonderful family, a wonderful college, some really great friends, no financial worries ,availing best possible treatment available etc.  I further pondered that actually no body was pulling me down, no one was hurting me, and nobody was treating me as an inferior guy. If there was anyone who was probably doing all this to me, it was I myself through my wild & completely unnecessary imagination. As for the vitiligo, well I was at least having a painless disease while people around were unfortunately not so lucky .I realized that I should or rather I must be grateful to God  .–> #One should always be thankful for all that one is having!


Eureka!!  Yes, it was no less than a eureka moment for me because that fateful  day and those thoughts   literally turned my life 360 degrees for good .My smile, my confidence and my zeal were all back. And it did wonders in all spheres of my life, I started enjoying life, my friend circle expanded ,vitiligo spread got checked ( I told you, it’s all about anxiety ) .

But just when everything looked hunky-dory, my mom passed away leaving us all shocked. All the hell broke loose. Besides other things, I feared that since my emotional support is gone, vitiligo and related thoughts will make my life miserable once again for the umpteenth time. But by her blessings and thanks to my Dad’s & brother’s support, this time I didn’t let circumstances get better of me. Over a period of time, I reorganized myself and started facing life boldly. I started accepting things, especially bad things happening to me more easily .I was more at peace with myself and that reflected all over. During campus interviews in the final year of engineering, I got placed in one of the dream companies,  further boosting my self-confidence. Though I had heard it countless times earlier, but I realized it myself  that its 100% true – It’s all about training your mind!  –> #Thoughts do become things!

And luckily, the whole working culture here at my company is very amicable and people are of understanding nature .Colleagues support you whole heatedly, especially when it comes to health issues. –> #Try to be around people with positive or at least neutral thinking!

One last time when this issue of white patches resurfaced was when I was going to meet a girl (now my lovely wife Nishtha) for the marriage proposal. After all the basic mutual talks & forced laughters among parents & relatives (a typical start to a probable north Indian wedding  ), there came a moment when both of us were left alone to have a talk.”Do you really want to marry me, considering the fact these white patches might spread later on to my face as well?” I said in a little reluctant and insecure manner.”What if this might have happened to you after marriage? It’s not an issue at all.” She said calmly. These thoughts of her really made me feel lucky that day to have met her. –> # Don’t just imagine other’s opinion about yourself, it might not be that bad, let them speak.  

So guys no matter what, just keep going, keep fighting. Believe me, circumstances will change and change for good. They did for me, they will do for you. When things are not going your way, just keep reminding yourself –> # Just as good times didn’t last for long, even  these bad times won’t!

While the vitiligo still stands tall , but I have grown taller over all these years. And looking back today, I still remember that day as an “unfortunate” one when my mom witnessed my first white patch , not because of vitiligo though but because of cricketing failures which virtually ended my probable glittering cricketing career 🙂


A few words for my friends #Decorated (& not tabooed) with white patches :

Buddies , I can so easily understand the pain ,fear , insecurity & the inferiority complex that at times steps in but believe me , it’s we ourselves who make Vitiligo look like a curse.No, it is not . It’s just a skin disorder.That’s it, just accept it like that only.Nothing more,nothing less.Otherwise also , there’s no fault of you to feel guilty .Besides, just look around yourself, you will find many suffering  like anything with real diseases for no fault of theirs but still they are putting up a brave front so gracefully ,refusing to surrender & why should they ?

More than the physical , just win this psychological fight with Vitiligo & you will see yourself winning in all spheres !

And all the expecting Brides & Grooms who are worried about being refused for marriage due to Vitiligo – Dear All,  mark my words , if a Guy or Girl refuses you due to white patches then such narrow minded person doesn’t deserve any place in your life !!

Besides, recently  I got to know of a guy named Ashish Aggarwal who has founded a matrimony site, DermaMatrimony [dot] com specially for people with Vitiligo , Psoriasis or any kind of skin disorder  with the mission  to help create a world where people with skin conditions can get married in a pleasant and dignified manner without making unwanted compromises. Hats off to him for this gesture .

So Guys ,  Keep Enjoying, Keep Rocking , Keep Smiling !


In case you wish to say or share something  , please feel free to drop a mail at .

And if any Vitiligo support association / NGO wants to help the cause of people having Vitiligo through a webinar or workshop , please share this blog with them because I would love to share my experience and try my best to boost the confidence & cheer up the  people who are depressed due to their skin condition. My whole aim and target is that nobody , I repeat, nobody should be upset and feel low due to vitiligo . Help me to reach maximum people who need help. Thank you !


To whom so ever it may concern :

  • Whenever you are going through tough times , be it dealing with a disease or with any other mental trauma , reading comes to rescue for many . For me, it’s Spiritual write ups that keep me going . So , I am putting below links to some of my  Spiritual Blogs which might be helpful for you as well :
  1. When I lived the Life of a Monk for 10 days ! # Vipassana Medfitation Experience
  2. Answering The Unanswered !
  3. Meditation is a journey , not the destination !
  4. Don’t Hallucinate, Just Meditate !
  5. Difference between Om & Aum !
  6. Learn extremely effective Meditation technique (Aumkar Meditation)in just 4 minutes !
  7. Why Piece of Mind is a highly incorrect & contradictory phrase !
  8. Best Spiritual Books to Read !

Please do share this experience of mine to help me reach maximum people needing a small motivation to come out of shell they have got themselves in due to Vitiligo (whit patches).Thank You !!


“This post is part of Blogchatter’s  CauseAChatter


“Inside Out with Rahul Yuvi has recently been listed under directory for Best Indian Blogs , 2018 “



36 Comments Add yours

  1. Thank you .Glad to know that you found my experience worth reading. 🙂


  2. Forestwood says:

    Thanks for an honest and revealing post. The way a person looks can have a huge impact on their self-esteem, motivation and their life. It is inspirational to hear your story and the way you overcame your own skin disease, or at least managed it. I do believe stress and our own mental states have a lot ot do with overcoming/managing auto immune illnesses in particular.
    Never give up indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. RahulYuvi says:

    Thank You so much Sir !


  4. antonysamy says:

    Well said.An eye-opening post .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. RahulYuvi says:

    Thank you for summarizing my story beautifully ! 🙏🙏


  6. RahulYuvi says:

    Thank you so much Mam ! Please share the post and help it reach masses for a probable larger good..Thanks again.


  7. Kanchan Biswas says:

    Well done 👍🏼👍🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Rowena says:

    Karisha, I don’t have vitiligo and haven’t explored the genetics of the disease. However, I did find this research paper which suggests a genetic base:
    I have an auto-immune disease and other people in my family also have auto-immune diseases but not the same one. Auto-immune diseases are also becoming more common in the population. I think you would need to go into having children assume a genetic link and if the baby didn’t get it, it would be a relief. You might also be able to prevent it via IVF.
    Hope that helps.
    Best wishes,

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Anonymous says:

    Vitiligo is not caused by a single gene but complex interaction between multiple genes and environment. So, the chance of passing from parent to child is very less.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Karisha says:

    Hi rowena your story also nice like rahul I had asked him one question and he had replied me very perfectly but I want to ask you also..
    I have not vitiligo but my lover has vitiligo, I am loving him soo much more than my life but we are thinking our future also.. can you help me please?
    You have baby right? After our marriage can vitiligo transfer to our baby from my lover? You have baby you have experience you have vitiligo but have your beautiful baby? Can you share your experience please?

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Karisha says:

    Thank you so much for your positive reply 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. RahulYuvi says:

    Hello Karisha ..Happy to know that my real life story touched your heart ..And yes , I have a kid who is 6 year old now and by God’s Grace , he is perfectly fine with no traces of Vitiligo..Even I had this apprehension and we – I & my wife used to ask doctors again & again while she was expecting..While doctors too used to tell that if the mother or mother’s immediate relatives have any ailment like vitiligo ,then the chances of same to get transferred to kid are very high ..But if only father is having the same,there chances are only 5 % ..I hope this answers your query 😊


  13. Karisha says:

    Thank you very much rahul your story was absolutely heart breaker my boyfriend has vitiligo but I have not I am loving him a lot. But I have one question for you..
    You have any kids now? And if I will merry with my boyfriend then vittiligo transfer from our to next generation(kids)? Pls tell me..

    Liked by 1 person

  14. RahulYuvi says:

    oh..unfortunately that’s the ground fact..people still consider it as a social taboo..and who knows, if I wasn’t be a vitiligo victim myself, then I might too would have been among those people too..unfortunate but it’s the truth..


  15. Anonymous says:

    My mother too have the same problem. You are lucky you got such a lovely partner because I have to face the problem in marriage because my mother have (I do not have the problem).

    Liked by 1 person

  16. RahulYuvi says:

    Thank you so very much for such kind words Sir..Glad that you found my experience put into words ,worth reading


  17. SUDHIR JAIN says:

    Dear Rahul,
    Very Inspirational and Motivational feelings shared by you. It touched our heart deeply. Really great learning. One more thing, we want to add that God has not made any person Complete. This is we have to overcome our shortcomings continuously and in this situation you have managed it perfectly. Along with you, we would also like to appreciate Ms Nishtha to take such a open minded decision of her life.
    May God bless your Happily Married Life.
    Hats off to your supportive Family also.
    From: Sudhir Jain and Archana Jain, NTPC Ltd.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. RahulYuvi says:

    wow ! Just went through this post ..Rowena you are one of the bravest human beings I have come across who just refuse to be pitted on , who refuse to be called a victim and rather lead a very brave , dignified and inspirational life ..Hats off and Salute to your Zeal..I really want to reblog this one, provided you allow me to..

    Liked by 1 person

  19. RahulYuvi says:

    I will definitely go through your post Rowena !


  20. Rowena says:

    Hi Rahul,
    Thanks so much for sharing the link through to this post. I really appreciated your raw honesty and feel many people could benefit from reading this. I know how low I felt about being diagnosed with hydrocephalis or fluid on the brain at 25 and thought no one would want to marry me either. It’s wonderful that others see the light which shines inside us, when all we see is the dark. I met my husband 4 years later, 19 years ago. We are now largely happilly married with two kids. Since then, however, I acquired a severe auto-immune disease, which is also affecting my lungs, and it’s been like wrestling an octopus at times. Then, I have to wrestle myself and try to stay on top of things mentally. I should become a professional fighter after all of this. I’m an expert.
    Thought you might also appreciate this post:
    Best wishes,

    Liked by 1 person

  21. RahulYuvi says:

    thank you so much 😊


  22. Anonymous says:

    This is incredibly inspirational. I’m so happy for you. Thank you for sharing your story

    Liked by 1 person

  23. RahulYuvi says:

    thank you for the kind words but may I may please know your name as unfortunately same is not getting displayed here at wordpress, it is showing Anonymous .


  24. Anonymous says:

    Yeah u r ryt ……smtymz its the invisible subconscious dat haunts us and nothing sort of reality….. but indeed putting dat journey into words is great…learnt it today
    Don’t just imagine other’s opinion about yourself, it might not be that bad, let them speak
    N through ur writeups…..i hf started to even understand nistha too…..

    Liked by 1 person

  25. RahulYuvi says:

    thank you so very much for the kind words but I am sorry,wordpress is showing Anonymous against your comment ( probably because you didn’t comment vide wordpress account)..May I please know your details !


  26. Anonymous says:

    Good read Rahul… Keep the spirits up and enjoy.. Cheers.. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  27. RahulYuvi says:

    100% true ..I wish both of you a very very Happy life together!


  28. Sunaina says:

    Hi..m also suffering Vitiligo..its like my story.My husband also have same disease even v married because of this common disease..aVitiligo also joins people !

    Liked by 1 person

  29. RahulYuvi says:

    thank you 😊


  30. Well written. Kudos to you. Keep moving

    Liked by 1 person

  31. RahulYuvi says:

    thank you so much but word press is showing your comment as Anonymous,probably because you don’t have wordpress account..May I please know about your details!


  32. Anonymous says:

    Right time, right words can help you to overcome certain circumstances and i think it helped me today to think and believe positive when My heart was sinking thinking about what i got to know today

    Liked by 1 person

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